“Wait, Is This a Date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “hold off, Is This a night out together?” we’re joined by Autostraddle President and

L Word

specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity — hooking up with pals’ exes, friends hooking up with the exes, while the society created by all those things crisis.

Arrive for news, remain for all the emotional processing. And before that enjoy a game title that exams Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally wouldn’t.)

Thank you for all the great comments after all of our premiere! When you haven’t but start thinking about giving us a rating or test!

PROGRAM RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of all my personal passions.

+ Discover
the essay
We reference in which I mention connecting with my roommates.

+ My crush regarding the week Mj Rodriguez released a songs video on her behalf tune
“one thing to state”
!

+ As someone who has only viewed a handful of symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with the week C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking if you ask me when it ended up she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina informs me they basically nevertheless tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I would personally be extremely okay with it current. I’d never ever add someone else without their own permission. Although concept of whenever someone was actually like, “concur that you might be attached to myself,” I would end up like, “Yeah, this is the existence I’ve resided. I don’t mind.” Is that strange? Is the fact that a problem?

Christina:

No, since if I becamen’t, i might feel bad not. I might wind up as, “Wait, I’m not lying?”

Theme song performs

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.

Drew:

And thank you for visiting

Hold Off, So Is This A Night Out Together?

Christina:


Wait, So Is This A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the big questions. To start with, would it be a date? What are times? That are dates? Will we like dates? These represent the method of concerns that we address about here extremely specialist and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I am Christina Tucker. I am additionally an author at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer on the web. I will be recovering at describing my self as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is all of us. That’s who we’re.

Drew:

Yeah. And so our major subject recently will be the Chart.

Christina:

I simply believed it required a sting. I am not sure. That thought actually remarkable, but In my opinion it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The right level of drama.

Christina:

Thanks a lot.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I love that phrase because it appears like you’ll want to restart the lesbians. It may sound like connection to the internet isn’t really working.

Drew:

Yes. it is very higher level, extremely futuristic, but also ‘s been around since there has been lesbians, i believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars would state when they found the very first lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of these carved into the mud. And that I believe’s exactly what that movie is focused on, proper? It is more about the information? That film with Kate Winslet as well as the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it is more about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

involved cavern females. I would view that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Really, as I have not seen it, I’m going to fearlessly declare that it was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we’ve numerous lesbian period pieces, but we have never gone back that far. And that I believe it’s the perfect time we would.

Christina:

Why don’t we just hold using it further back in its history.

Drew:

Before we have to the major topic, you are however getting to know you. And I believed that it might be fun to try out a-game in which you dudes could really learn Christina. Therefore the icebreaker with this few days is just a little video game that we name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I’m, once more, therefore pressured about this. This might just be the way i-come in to the game. This could be my personal online game mentality, some high-key, a tiny bit stressed. That’s okay. All of us are understanding.

Drew:

I believe that is great. I believe that may prompt you to more vulnerable, possibly.

Christina:

Certainly one of my favorite feelings.

Drew:

Just a horror, just an acute horror. And so the method in which “Would U-Haul” works is i will describe a situation. Let’s refer to it as Christina fan fiction. And I also’m probably pause after each and every little section is like, “Okay, Christina, I know you have never ever stayed with a partner, don’t want to live with someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will possibly say yes or we’ll state, “I’m all set.”

Drew:

If you do not — really, we’re going to see here. But i am thrilled. In my opinion I’ve perhaps cracked the rule.

Christina:

You have damaged the rule? I’m excited.

Drew:

Let’s find out how very long this requires. If in case there is a constant perform, I think you winnings? I am not sure just how discover winners here.

Christina:

I’m not sure that we now have champions into the online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I don’t know should you’ll go along with that after this. And so I’m going to get going.

Christina:

Fair enough.

Drew:

Okay. Thus, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at the friend’s wedding. In spite of the large number of romcoms you soaked up, you probably did perhaps not check-out this wedding considering you’ll satisfy anyone because, well, this isn’t a romcom. This is actually the actual and typical lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking your assigned seat and so are glancing at your telephone as soon as you realize a female at the table is wanting at you. She introduces by herself as the pal’s former babysitter. She’s stayed a friend associated with the household, but she doesn’t really know any individual there. She seems like mid-forties and it has a striking angular face. You start talking. She proposes to allow you to get a glass or two. As soon as she compares, you understand she is six feet large, 6′ 3″ in pumps. So that you know what? I’m merely gonna stop there and start to become want, at this stage, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m fascinated. I am captivated because i may get set during this wedding ceremony. But yet I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely reasonable. Totally fair. Okay. Which means you spend the whole wedding learning one another. Absolutely just an instantaneous spark and immediate biochemistry. And yes, you do hook up together with intercourse is amazing.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And thus this marriage was in Northern California. And that means you both increase the stays for a few times to screw and check out and consume at restaurants and fuck. While supply to split the price of the today mutual room, but she laughs you down and it is like, “demonstrably maybe not, honey.” And so the subsequent 3 days are miraculous. You feel your walls tumbling all the way down. You are slipping faster than you ever have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Therefore just for clearness’s benefit, I’m having difficulty imagining a world by which I took three surprise days from work to spend time with someone i really do maybe not understand. That appears bonkers. However if I did, good-for me. But I’m simply not U-Hauling at this point. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is okay. You simply came across. I get it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Thanks much.

Drew:

So she comes back to New York and you also go back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

This is where We live.

Drew:

And you’re texting always. That’s where you reside and it’s really in which this woman life. And you’re texting all the time and also you see both several times per month. She’s very active together with her job, but she is quick buying you a train admission in order to come see her and stay at her stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Then half a year go. And something night when you’re out to dinner, she asks that move in along with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to Nyc? Really don’t really like ny. No, I’m not relocating during the half a year level. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, completely. Wow. Okay. So that you hold internet dating long-distance. She understands that you want some time and she actually is prepared to loose time waiting for you. More months pass. It’s now been over a-year. Your own property owner lets you know they are selling your place to a developer that is putting in condos, so that you can’t renew it. You should get a hold of another spot. The now girl lets you know that no force, but her offer however appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. Now, i might U-Haul for a couple of reasons.

Drew:

Yay! Okay. Please reveal.

Christina:

Largely, in some sort of whereby my landlord ended up selling the house to develop it, my landlord is now my personal closest friend, so seems like some thing moved completely wrong in our relationship. And I also must merely keep Philadelphia in any event. And in case I get to maneuver in with my sweetheart over right here, that seems good. That’s fine. Entirely good. But yeah, I think i may require an external power like a mean property owner.

Drew:

That’s therefore — ok. I did think that you might need certainly to require construction for indeed there, so I’m happy I realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That’s what needs to affect me initially.

Drew:

Really, I’m happy to understand what it takes. Thus theoretically, if you weren’t knocked away, exactly how much more hours?

Christina:

Truthfully, that may have gone on for a long period. Philly and ny aren’t actually that not both. I managed to get area over right here. We’re moving back-and-forth. We are having good times. I possibly could have permit that roll for some time until i assume Shoshana becomes the worst individual I’m sure.

Drew:

I did not know Shoshana owned your own house. Really, there you are going.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I am stressed, to-be obvious.

Drew:

And that I’m glad that i understand… Maybe if you should be actually, so if anyone’s ever internet dating you and wants one to relocate, maybe your own sweetheart informed Shoshana to market the home for the sake of the relationship.

Christina:

Genuinely the quickest way — somebody would only have to talk to Shoshana and be want, “merely kick their down.” Following she’d end up like, “Yeah, sure. Definitely.” That would be the way it occurred, no matter if she did not offer the house. Some body would just be like, “Can you just stop this lady away very she will just conquer it and move in with me?” And she’d say yes. One hundred percent she’d do this. That’s what relationship is.

Drew:

I really like that.

Christina:

Yeah, that’s really breathtaking.

Drew:

Well, i’m like we learned lots about yourself.

Christina:

Cheers. I’m like We discovered alot about myself personally, also. Threat of homelessness is actually the point that keeps me relocating any situation, i suppose. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that is fantastic.

Christina:

Which was really exciting. I’m similarly delighted to move into our very own primary sector because i do believe speaing frankly about lesbian connection with this specific visitor, with this particular special guest, i believe it will likely be remarkable, Drew. How are you currently experiencing?

Drew:

I’m so thrilled. This is exactly a professional. And also by that, i am talking about an

L Term

expert, but additionally a little bit of a specialized within the topic accessible.

Christina:

I think a couple of things is generally correct, my good friend. I do believe a few things tends to be correct certainly. Do we need to present our very own visitor or can we wish all of our guest to introduce themselves?

Drew:

I might love the guest to introduce by herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I am going to claim that our visitor may be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And it’s really weird as the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, its.

Riese:

I had not to state something. I didn’t even exercise. Used to do say things. I had to sit down here quietly.

Christina:

And you also were truly fearless. Along with your confronts had been valued.

Riese:

Thank-you plenty.

Christina:

Though this can be certainly a sound method, i would like all of our audience to find out that Riese was actually making some very nice reaction faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

Absolutely different ways to be heard. Guess what happens after all? That’s what i usually state. I will be the President of Autostraddle.com. And I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. And that’s me personally. You will find a puppy known as Carol. And that I have actually dated individuals.

Christina:

Congrats in the kickball!

Riese:

Many thanks. I am associated with folks.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. Which is great to carry to the, this right here matchmaking podcast. Which is excellent.

Riese:

Yeah. I do believe that… can there be whatever else?

Drew:

No, In my opinion which is fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

Whatever you decide and like to share.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.

Christina:

In Contrast to…

Riese:

You Understand an individual goes like…

Drew:

It is like once you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are terrible, so I simply just exhausted them from my mind.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, I immediately looked at you with this topic.

Christina:

That’s true.

Drew:

Because first of all, demonstrably, queer females and non-binary people in lesbian community happen like, I’m not sure, having sex with individuals who people they know had gender with since long before

The L Keyword

was actually ever before a sequence. But i really do feel

The L Keyword

solidified a specific social idea of the data with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided you’d have a lot of insight into this topic.

Riese:

Its correct. A couple of article authors, I would like to say, of

The L Keyword

had this real data of these in addition to their buddies these people were attracting on the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, had been one. She talked to united states about it, they had built this. Because obviously, everyone else in that writer’s place had banged other people from inside the blogger — you know, plus the lengthy internet of this generation of lesbians in L. A.. And in addition they noticed that and these were like, “let us place it in program.” Several of those are on the chart. Like, some people whom … like, actual everyone is from the data as bull crap.

Christina:

Which is wonderful. That’s how you understand you have made it.

Riese:

Is not that sexy?

Christina:

That would be thrilling for my situation.

Riese:

And for those who haven’t viewed

The L Term,

first, congrats. Second of all, it gets the centerpiece of 1 your head personality, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got it-all over the woman wall structure. And it also is the title of a webpage they began called ourchart.com that flopped. Therefore the concept … and it is in pilot, In my opinion. Within the first occurrence, Alice begins writing about exactly how every person’s linked, because everybody’s connected with this particular individual. And I also can hook up you, as you’re most likely no more than two levels far from me personally. Hence ended up being genuine. Like, despite having Dana, who had very restricted experience because she had been a closeted golf user, they however could connect the girl. That is certainly true to life because it’s real.

Christina:

That is society. Yeah. That’s what society appears like.

Riese:

That’s society. That is queer tradition right there. And from now on everyone makes their very own charts.

Christina:

Yeah. In order for was going to be my personal after that concern, ended up being have actually either people made a chart? Because I really don’t consider i’ve, I am also type today considering like, that was this just last year resting inside my residence for easily don’t create a chart? Like, that was the point of that, actually?

Riese:

I do believe I accomplished it during my diary, in the same manner like … Because I like, I am not sure, arranging info, i assume, as a thought workout.

Christina:

Yeah, I think which is also exactly why i will be astonished that I haven’t accomplished it. I prefer the idea of categorizing situations.

Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I am not sure the reason why it’s very fascinating, but it’s. Its fascinating to get like, wow, a few of these people, they truly are connected. It really is untamed.

Drew:

Throughout the program, once ourchart.com is actually formulated, obtained an authentic data that individuals can add on stuff. And that I feel something you joked about on

To L and Right Back,

and from now on individuals state all the time is a lot like, if this existed in a genuine method, not one person would place their own labels upon it, no-one would feel safe placing their names about it.

Riese:

Might.

Drew:

I might. I might end up being really fine with-it current. I’d never ever include someone else without their authorization. But the concept of similar, each and every time someone was actually like, “Confirm that you may be connected with me personally,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, this is the existence I’ve stayed. Really don’t mind.” Would be that weird? Is that problematic?

Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel poor not … I would personally wind up as, “hold off, I’m not about it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?” No, that could really send myself into lighting ethical anxiety about exactly who Im as you, what I’m carrying out. In the morning I interesting? Do men and women {like
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